Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Madamoiselle & her Backdated Updates pt II

The Diary ~ C'est La Vie ~

-=[1-11-2007 ~ 20:50 ]=-

Dear Diary,

I had a dream. I dreamt of Mr. X. Two days in a row, I dreamt of him. It was like reminiscing the precious moments we had together. In the dream, we met at our first place we fell in love, far away from home. I don’t know why I was dreaming of him. I thought I was over him. I was sure I had closed my heart for him and had opened another to someone else. I knew my feelings towards the other one had grown, over which I felt it was beyond my feelings for Mr.X. Then again, I dreamt of him last night. It was weird. In the dream, we were closer than ever. He held me tight and I felt the warmth-protective feeling I’ve always had with him before. Very comfortable and I felt safe. Safe in his arms. But it was just a dream.

I recently told a friend, “When you closed a door of your heart to someone, doesn’t mean that it would shut tight forever. Cause the memories will always be there, even when you opened another door for someone else.” Thinking back, I realized those words were actually meant for me. It’s true; it’s hard to forget First Love. I still couldn’t find anyone in my whole life a better person than who he is. I know nobody is perfect. Mr. X was not perfect either. But he had been perfect towards me, compared with all that I’ve met. I knew, I would never find anyone like him….Sigh!

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

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