Madamoiselle: The Resolutions that Burns.

It's the 9th day of 2008. To be frank, the 9 days of new year didn't give me a good impression to start a new life ahead. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, my resolution itself is to be more optimistic about anything.

Remember my resolutions? I don't normally make any resolutions. This year, however, I made it optional, mostly for work. I wanted to change to a new leaf. Procrastinating was not me. But I became one few months back. Was it because of demotivation of work or lost in my own world? Both actually. That's why I took a long holiday and wanted a good start ahead in 2008. My first day of work were surprised with a huge change and hectic work schedule coming ahead. Dealing with changes with work was ok for me, I can still bear it and are willing to see the good side of it. But dealing with people that you know you can't get along was definitely a big challenge. They are back! And I have to face them.

I am not mean. I don't hate people easily. I don't shut people from my life for no reason and block anyone who made mistakes without giving any 2nd chances. I am a happy person, the one who always laughs, the one who jokes with her friends and makes silly remarks and teases to pass the time. But I normally do those things when I'm with someone I'm comfortable with, the ones I do get along well. Most, thought I could never be an angry person. They say, I was hardly serious.

Honestly, a friend had quoted this "Harmless unless Provoked!" and for sure, I am as he quoted! I will not hate you if you don't make me. I usually like to distant myself from people who tried to ruin my life. I just don't like being angry or pissed all the time so my solution was to avoid. The problem is, sometimes I had no choice. They come and provoke. They liked being hated. They just are too thick skinned to even cared that they are not wanted. A pain I have to deal with. And it ruined part of my resolutions.

Speaking of which, let me rephrase again my resolutions:

1) Always be optimistic
They ruined it. I'm still trying though.
2) Ignore bad vibes @ people who tends to ruin ur lifes and those who underestimates you.
The devils are back, killing my ignorance.
3) Clearing my Debts--> a never ending story..esp. my cards..waaa!!!
Still in progress
4) Self control --> in spending especially..hehehe
So far, 2% success hahaha...
5) Needs more determination and stop procrastinating :p
I am chanting I can do this..i can do this...
6) Anger management, out of stress... 2007 had been a good one...need more in 2008 :)
2008 became my biggest challenge for this. The devils provoked too much.
7) Loose weight--> I really need to make it work someday hahaha...
No comment in this yet ..teehee!

Today, is the New Year for Islam. Selamat Tahun Baru Hijriah 1429 Everyone. I hope this New Year starts the marking of a better days ahead and these whole 9 days that passed was just a nightmare. I pray for those who hurts the people around, intentionally or not, will change and opened their hearts to be more sincere with everything they do, talk and hear. I pray for myself to be more patient with the challenges given ahead and faced my inner cries calmly.

"Taqabbala Allahu minna wa minkum."
"May Allah accept from us, and from you."

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Madamoiselle & Macam2 ada...

:: Going Somewhere & Food Talk ::

Yesterday, I had a brief walk with POQ sister at the Damuan Recreational Park. It has been two months since we last had our mini exercise @ afternoon walk. I thought walking at Damuan would be that exhausting as walking at the Tasek. It turns out that I feel more relaxed and not sweating at all even after two rounds. If I were to have a walk at the Tasek, two rounds of walking got me sweaty and just a hike on the hill got me wet with sweat. Its like having a leisure walk at the Damuan, and its not good if I want to keep fit. Why not Jog then? Teeheee… Kalau paham, Bisai [If understand, Nice!!]. At the moment, I prefer to walk lah..hehehe. So tomorrow, we plan on going to the Tasek instead. Unless, we just want to have a relaxing walk, then I’d go for the Damuan.

Anyway, on Monday, POQ sister and I was quite worried with our excessive eating since the Raya festive season thus planning to have the afternoon “walk”. But the weather was rather gloomy so we ended up going for a tummy fill at the TPH restaurant instead. Silahau!! So much of worrying eih?!! We had “Butter prawn” a favourite dish known by almost everyone, “Nyonya Style Venison” , the meat was lovely but the sauce was way to sweet, and “Brocolli with Tofu”, nyamaaanzzz….. In the end, We regret of having too much food when we were supposed to lose all those disproportionate fats in our wiggly bodies. Hmmpff!!

:: Rants And Raves ::

So what about today’s news? I am still not in a good mood for work. I hate it. Somehow I feel totally demotivated. Life, Work, Love…. Sometimes I wanted to do so much, but had so little time, Less resources, so many ideas, un-encouraging environment, too much pressure, I can only think of a lil’ break. No, a huge break! A break from all these, stay at home and baked cakes and muffins and try all sorts of cooking. Hah! I don’t know why, but I got this “big” interest in learning to bake and cook. I just need my own kitchen, my own things and I’ll be a Chef Gourmet wannabe in fairyland, I wish *Sigh*. I love food. I love to make my friends happy, with food. I love to try new foods. I love to try new recipies. I love to try new restaurants. APAKANzz?? Why all these rants?? I’m mentally blocked. Uh-Oh!!

I have a sort of new addiction of love, that I had mentally blocked all the creative side of me to be super doubly stable. And truly, I don’t like it. My mind’s been off too much for thinking the unpredictability of “Him”. Sheesh! I need to get over him soon. It’s tiring me out and It sure doesn’t give me any positive vibes. He’s a good guy, but I need a more matured guy, A guy who knows how to love you without being told… in which that reminds me of the lyrics of Soulmate from Natasha Beddingfield.

Could it be possible?

“Is it possible Mr. Loveable is already in my life?
Right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise”

Its six months after the breakup, Sometimes I missed the ‘X’ sometimes it felt like nothing. It goes on and off, without being told. Then the "other" guy, instead, came in the midst of vulnerability, was all but a rollercoaster experience. And I’m slowly getting tired of it. My heart is fed up of getting indecisive response. We should be buddies, I guess. Whatever!! I gotta go. I feel drowsy already. Bye! Sweet dreams. Hope tomorrow is a good day to refresh. ** I wish humans can “refresh” when they feel “HANGed” just like computers**

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Madamoiselle & her Rants

It's been almost a week since I've last updated this blog. I've been too tired to go online, too tired that I slept earlier than my normal wee hours of beauty sleep. I don't know why, I felt so exhausted lately, but what's worst, the earlier i get to sleep, the later i get to wake up. Shux! I'm slacking. I'm just in no such mood of working, until yesterday. I just have to work hard or i'll be darn in trouble for the rest of my life. Maybe, I was too hyper for the past few months. Maybe, I just want to settle down and have kids... [huh? BIG SHOUT OUT : Am Single and Available here..hehehe] ...i mean, have a good rest. Maybe, or just maybe, I'm getting old! hmmm.... going 30 is old?? Just Slap Me! HARD!!!

~SMACK~

Err...... Thanks!

Anyway, anyhow, I'll try to update my "Yesterday's News" soon. My tiredness overpowered me so much, i don't think I can update it all in a go. Boy! I really need a boost. So here's a list of my next posts that i'd like to post when i got time.." yeah, i got time!!"

1) Madamoiselle & iLotus [ Food Talk]
2) Madamosielle & Tanda Cinta Mata [Going somewhere]
3) Madamosielle & Apartment 1303 [ Movie Talk ]
4) Madamoiselle & her BAGS [ Random-ness ]

Till then, am blogging in the dark, on my bed, feeling ultimately tired but could not get to sleep. Waaaaa.....!!!

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