Saturday, August 30, 2008

El - Owe - You - Vee

Helleeww…. I think I’m in love.


Complicating yet Irresistable.

I had once loved a man and I thought there would be a happy ending. Unfortunately, He wasn’t mine. I knew it won’t last long to realize that it took a lot more than courage….

and time…….. and patience… stay in a relationship like this so I tried to moved on.

Searching for a new love isn’t an easy task. Having met a few others, none was a better person than the previous one. Well, to be honest, I like older men, not too old but mature. The one who could think maturely, who could lead me to a better life, the one who is settled…and I don’t mean in terms of financially {hmm..maybe a lil’ bit on that}, but more to what he thinks of life is.

Ironically, my environment is forcing me to change my perspective in men. I have to face reality. More young men came vibrantly around my life and it’s like feasting on new meat for dinner. Okay, I’m a tad exaggerating with that. Well, my point is, I had no choice. It’s like what they said…”the good husband type of guys were taken, the single available ones are either young, immature or worst, the ones you thought could be perfect…… are fags.” {okay, I added up a bit with that quote but then, you know what I mean, right?}

Anyway, experimenting my feelings toward the younger ones, I could only let myself liking them. Some things are just not there. I mean, hey! some of them are cute, and I even almost thought that I really liked this one guy, whom, almost looked like the person I had emotionally-confusing-unsettling “friendship” that I had involved a long time ago. Getting to know this guy, was somehow a thrill at first but melts away as time goes by. I could not react comfortably around him and the hardest thing is… he is young. Not only young in the sense of his features but the way he thinks, he talks and the way he is around me.. He is YOUNG in everything!!! In fact, it makes me feel older than I am supposed to be. Going 30 doesn’t mean you’re already 30 right? *wink*

Anyhow, back to what I had said in the first line…..I am in love. Yes.. falling in love again… with the same person that I shouldn’t have been with before… I’m still in love with him. And before, anyone says anything, Nope.. not in the sense that I’m back to the relationship { hopefully not!!} but for the time being, it’s more to the fact that.. .. my feelings for him had never faded and I am still in love with him. Not a single person has ever compared and it’s very hard to find a new love just like we had.

As they all said, “Love is blind” so I guess you only need sticks to get you around… so probably I need to search my stick then. :p.

The End.:p

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